How do I tell her

Letters to Zephyr

How do I tell her I have a baby girl I adore, a child I love just as deeply as I’m growing to love her?

I know this won’t be an easy thing to hear. I imagine she’s pictured a life free of such complications.

To tell her I had a child out of wedlock, long before we met…
To convince her that my past won't come back to hurt her…
To assure her that loving my baby as her own would only make me love her more…

And so, I hesitate.

I wonder: is she mature enough? Does she have the emotional capacity to truly accept my darling daughter as part of my life, soon to be ours? Would she want to love me even after learning that her first child with me wouldn't be my first? How can I convince her that all our children would be loved equally, without bias, without exception?

Still, I hesitate.
I’ve learned that hesitation isn’t always the best way to handle things like this. But saying too much, too soon, might also make me seem less desirable, too complex, too burdened.

So what do I do?
When do I tell her?

Because I think I love her.
I believe she has everything I’ve hoped for in a wife and more.
But I’m afraid of losing her.

When is the right time to tell her?
How do I tell her?

Love, Nuel